It's Nice to Be Asked, But Asking Is Hard


Asking for help often gives me anxiety, you know, sweaty palms, heart palpitations, dry mouth. But when someone asks me for help, I am flattered. I thank them for asking.

Yes. I thank the asker because it’s an honor to have someone ask.


Instead of thinking only about my discomfort in asking for help, I need to remind myself that it is an honor to be asked. And that fact alone makes asking for help easier.


Here are some quick tips to help you get out of your head and ask for the help you need:


1. You are not a burden. People like to help. If we don’t ask, we deprive them of the opportunity to help someone. Think of it as your duty to humanity.

2. You are not weak. As an overburdened caregiver, I told my friends, I could handle “it.” I couldn’t. They brought me food. I ate. Win-win.

3. You are not stupid. We’ve all thought it, “They will think I’m stupid. They won’t like me anymore. It will be the death of me.” Okay, that’s a bit melodramatic, but if I’ve thought it, chances are you have, too.

4. Ask the right questions. If you ask me about the best time to plant lemon trees, I’ll shrug my shoulders and suggest “Spring?” But, if you ask me how to write a speech, I will entertain you with endless suggestions to help you on your journey because I’m super excited to help someone on their pubic speaking path.


So, the next time you need help. Ask. It’s good for you, it’s good for them, and it’s good for humanity. Win-win.

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